today i am setting off for a new (to me) continent with Rhonda, my best friend and best ex. things are going well so far; i didn’t get groped by the tsa, which is always nice.

i’m thinking a lot about moving away from Alaska and possibly the united states entirely. i haven’t made any firm decisions yet but i don’t feel safe. you have to be able to trust your neighbors to live in Alaska.

the land itself is manic: summer bursts with light and winter is an all-consuming darkness. both seasons feel as if they last forever, so you kind of stop believing the high will ever become low, or the low become high.

as a visibly trans and noticeably autistic woman i feel like everyone is always staring at me. i feel like the elephant in every room. it’s uncomfortable even if nothing bad happens. i don’t trust the people around me. the cold is too much.